Konga TNT (2020)

Recap:

So at first there is this alien crash landing on earth, but we don’t see its face because it wears an incredibly cheap halloween mask. Then there is some kind of a Québec James stealing an alien gazonga from a tribe of, well, I guess they are supposed to be Amazonas Amazons, or something like that. A scientist extracts a substance called KTNT from the gazonga and injects it into a plush gorilla who escapes and makes friends with two annoying brats, until he transmogrifies into a skyskrapersized man in a Halloween gorilla costume.

Well, when I found this movie I expected a new but old fashioned Kaiju movie, probably with a man in a gorilla suit. A few minutes into the movie I realized that it was a comedy, and I thought “good thing, too. Old-fashioned Kaiju movies are notorious for being unvoluntarily funny, so you may just as well be deliberately funny. And if you keep on going all the way over the top all the time then maybe nobody will notice that you are not skilled movie makers.”

Boy, was I wrong! Sure they went all over the top all of the time, but it just was more cringy than funny. Now, considering that this movie is so overwhelmingly bad and most it consists of stock footage and green screen action and considering that the actors playing the annoying brats share the director’s last name and considering when the movie was produced I really thought that this was one of the sweetest and dandiest things a father could do to keep his family busy while in quarantine, and I wondered how this ever got a proper release and, given the miniscule budget, whether there even was a chance that this labor of love could make a profit of a Canadian Dollar or two, which would be quite deserved.

Boy, was I wrong again. Looking to confirm my theory I did a tiny bit of research and found out that Brett Kelly is the director of 40+ movies! This man is a fraudster who makes a living by selling amaturds as actual movies! Now that was food for thought for me. Because before I realized that I was scammed I felt, in a way, entertained. So, I guess now I have to decide whether or not I want to enjoy more of this rubbish. Spoiler: probably I will watch some more of his stuff, just like other people keep on staring at car crashes, and eventually I will be fed up, deciding that these “movies” are just too bad even to be so-bad-that-it’s-good.