Tag Archives: 2000s

The Gingerdead Man (2005)

⭐⭐⭐ 70min Decent comedy trash with Gary Busey. Directed by Charles Band (135)

Recap

Well, so there’s this Gary Busey and he kills half a family. The daughter however survives and he because of her he is sentenced to death. So, after his cremation, his mother uses his ashes to prepare some gingerbread spice an old family recipe, the secret ingredient is hatred) which she sends to the bakery of the daughter and her mother. So Gary Busey returns as a Gingerdead Man and continues to do what he does best, which is slashing.

And why not? There are killer tomatoes, killer donuts, killer condoms, a killer sofa, a killer car tyre and whatnot, so a Gingerdead Man is a legit comedy topic. Also, when you’re an unskilled horror filmer without a budget, some comedy can seriously improve the your shitty movie. In this case, however, it all goes the opposite way. Charles Band is known for his capacity to make okay and occasionally even good movies on a limited budget, and this time it seems very much that the comedy aspect was added to make a cheaper movie with an appeal to a bigger audience, like let’s just be cheap and lazy and sell the junk to the stoners. So seen in this light I feel scammed. There’s not much horror in this one, most of the acting is, well, not good and the story is unnecessarily daft. And the humor? Well I should say that it’s semifunny. So all in all this one is okay. It is what it is: it’s not a good movie and it is nowhere near as good as it could and should have been, but at least it’s a decent trash comedy.

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Caesar And Otto 2: Summer Camp Massacre (2009)

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 76min. Caesar And Otto horror parody movie with Felissa Rose.

Recap

Caesar and Otto leave town and become camp counselors because Caesar has bullied the police commissioner’s mentally challenged brother. Their father follows them to steal from the other counselors, and since this is summer camp, there is a whole lot of slashing going on.

Microbudget indie movies can be such a pain. In this one, for example, the “summer camp” consists of a white brick wall, a picnic table, two plastic barrels of toxic waste, some trees and shrubbery and a few tents. When you make a movie with such tiny production values it’s a smart move to pimp the story with some humor, and that’s what they do. Also, it’s an even smarter move to add clever ideas and fun and actual laughs, and surprisingly enough, they do just that, too. Much unlike many, oh so many other movies, this one is made with brains and dedication, and it’s actually fun to watch.

This is a comedy that actually works, and it’s part of Dave Campfield’s Caesar And Otto franchise that consists of 5 feature films and 2 shorts, which means that there is more of the same where this came from.

And do you remember Angela from Sleepaway Camp? Guess what, she is still working. I hope that she has got a day job because she seems to do only cheap indie stuff, but she’s still around, she’s fun, she’s hot and she adds some genuine summer sleepaway camp vibes to this movie.

However, I have only just watched the trailer which is much gorier than the entire movie in its youtube edit. So I guess I give it ⭐⭐⭐⭐, including a bonus for diligent indie filmmaking and another bonus for the benefit of doubt (It’s not Dave Campfield’s fault that I watched a butchered version). Be warned though that the youtube edit is good, but not that good.

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Making Of (2007)

⭐⭐⭐ 63min Mockumentary about a bunch of deluded college boys and their ambitious movie project.

Recap

So there are these deluded college boys who want to make a movie. They don’t have skills or experience, they don’t have actual costumes or actual sets, but they have an artsy script and they even have somebody who follows them around to shoot a making of. Reality is not gentle with them, at one point, for the duration of a lunchbreak, the director even ditches the project.

Yes, this is a valid way to deal with the fact that you cannot make an actual movie: you just make fun of yourself. In The Claire Wizard Thesis they made a parody of a found footage films, and it was okay, a little lukewarm and cowardish maybe. In How Not To Make A Horror Film they had wasted all that they had without a result, and now they were trying to make the most of this, which was a legit approach (even though in the end it felt like they were just plugging their upcoming t&a exploitation flick).

In this mockumentary, however, they are (sometimes painfully) honest when they are making fun of themselves, and also these people are extremely skilled compared to most indie filmers. Small wonder that this one is so much better than all those indie abonimations that are made and marketed for profit. Seven years later the makers of this one went on to make one of my favorite indie movies, The Paranormals.

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Lo (2009)

A demon has taken Justin’s love away, and he wants her back. 80min imdb

Recap:

Justin’s girlfriend Alice has been abducted by a demon, so he prepares a magic circle, uses his book of spells and spills his blood to summon the demon Lo and command him to bring Alice back to him. Lo claims that he can’t and instead gets Justin involved in a conversation. He, supported by demon Jeez, convinces Justin that April really is a demon who has been returned to hell.

The first thing I noticed was the astonishingly good body make-up of Lo. Now this is a lowbudget flick with a promising start, I thought. It took me a while to realize what I was watching: few actors, hardly any action, only one location, the cheapest backdrops in the flashbacks, the overacting with the big gestures and the tons of dialogue: I was watching a bloody stage play. But then, why not? It was nice for a change, it was entertaining, it wasn’t even too predictable (I was one hour into the movie when I found out what the surprise ending would be).

Sure, it’s flawed in many ways: sometimes it’s too silly or too artsy or too pretentious, but I can live with that. I like it because it’s UNIQUE!

On IMDb this is listed as horror and comedy and fantasy and lovestory, but I feel uneasy about this: yes, it is fun, but it surely isn’t funny enough to call it a comedy. And horror, well, would you file Goethe’s (or in this case: Marlowe’s) Faust as horror?

Oh well, I file it under horror, why not. There’s blood in it and demons and tortured souls…. However, this is not a regular slasher, so viewer’s discretion is advised.

Movie 80min

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Faust (2000)

Love Of The Damned

Forget about Gretchen! This Faust sells his soul for a set of Wolverine claws and the silliest cape in the history of superhero capes. Directed by Brian Yuzna with Jeffrey Combs in a supporting role. 98min imdb

Recap:

John Jaspers sells his soul to M(ephisto) to take revenge for the murder of his girlfriend. Of course he later regrets it, so M buries him alive but is dumb enough to toss Jaspers’ Wolverine claws into the open grave. In hell, Jaspers uses these to slay a demon and returns to earth. He now is Faust, some kind of “deconstructed” superhero much like the Dark Knight or Spawn, wearing an extremely silly cape that resembles bat wings, probably because proper demon wings were too expensive.

M wants to use Jade de Kamp, a shrink and Faust’s love interest, in a ritual at Walpurgisnacht to summon a Homunkulus. However he is too full of himself to realize that with Faust he has created his nemesis.

Okay, so usually a Homunkulus is a small, manmade human, but in this one he is a boss monster posing as a cosmic horror, but why not? This movie is based on a comic book that as I hear was popular in the late 80s. It borrows a few ideas like Faust’s deal with the devil and turns them into, well yes, into what? This movie is chocolate for the eyes with nudity and sex and violence and blood and special effects. When you watch something like this you just lean back and enjoy. If you start asking for rhymes and reasons you are so totally done for. This movie is dumb. It’s intellectual value equals the nutritional value of a Big Mac, and it tastes similar: it’s not a thrilling sensation, not a beneficial experience, but it’s yummy. I don’t know about you, but I like Big Mac.

Movie 96min

Trailer

Wrong Turn (2003)

Degenerated, inbred hillbilly family that feeds on trespassers. 84min imdb

(VPN:D)

Recap:

So there is this family of degenerated, inbred hillbillies who feed on trespassers….. Wait. I know what you want to say, but this time it’s different: no butcher’s apron, no mask made of human flesh and, most importantly, no chainsaw. But apart from that, people in West Virginia are very much like Texans, but I’m not complaining. I guess horror has subgenres with recurring tropes, like we know what we get when we watch a zombie/vampire/etc. movie. Does this subgenre have a name yet? Maybe Hillbilly Horror? Would sound right to my ears.


Anyway, all I want to say is yes. YES! This movie works on many levels, it’s got horror, suspense hand a fair share of gore. The script is not exactly arthouse, it doesn’t even meet most of the usual Hollywood requirements like conflict/plot twists/character development /hero’s journey/whatever. But it works. It doesn’t insult my intelligence, thanks for that. And then the production design. I guess this was the filthiest, most disgusting cabin I’ve seen so far, and you simply must love the car cemetery with the wide range of specimen that hint at how long this family has been living their special lifestyle. All in all this is a very complete and enjoyable movie.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Terror Toons (2001)

Two cartoon slashers invade the real world. 79min imdb

(VPN:D)

Recap:

The parents have gone to a wedding and leave the twenty somethings home alone. The one with the huge production values watches a DVD called Terror Toons, the other is having a full blown orgy, complete with wine cooler and strip ouija.

Wonder why? There is nudity or sex in this movie, and its title gives away that the slashers come not from the ouija board but from the DVD.

Well, if you haven’t got a budget you can still use your skills, work with what you’ve got and create a a small but precious gem. Or, especially if you’re not so skilled, you can go all over the top and create something new, never seen before, that finds its audience because it stands out by standing alone. That’s what they were going for here, and I really wanted them to succeed. But alas, some filmmakers seem to use the lack of budget as an excuse for not even trying. WTF! When you ain’t got real actors it’s twice as important to work with your cast, when you waste big portions of the budget on a porn star it’s important to have nudity and sex in the movie, and if you want to make a comedy by no means you should ever even consider to start filming before you have funny script.

The one thing that speaks for this movie are the slashers Doctor Carnage and Max Assassin. They are new and never seen before, and I like the way they go over the top. They are the reason why I give generous 3*, but don’t let your hopes get too high, because in the end the film is really not good.

⭐⭐⭐

Dagon (2001)

Stuart Gordon’s adaptation of Dagon and The Shadow Over Innsmouth by H. P. Lovecraft. 98min imdb

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Review:

The movie starts like a fantasy adventure: the opening credits are blue and golden, we see a scuba diver who discovers a golden underwater city and a mermaid, but she has bad teeth and he wakes up. Now we are on a small yacht with a crew of four which soon hits a reef, and before too long our hero (who wears glasses like Herbert West and a sweater from the Miskatonic U) is alone in a small village where the Spanish branch of The Esoteric Order Of Dagon is located. He spends most of the movie running from creepy folks who are definitely only semi human. An old bum provides the info dump, which is not a smart move, because how good can the English of a Spanish bum be? However he sticks very much to the stories from the Lovecraft books, so it’s okay. Running from the fishy Dagon cultists turns out to be difficult, especially since our hero has the habit to flee into houses instead of away from them, so as soon as he reunites with two of his crewmates, they get caught.

My hopes weren’t too high, because this movie is not located in New England as a Lovecraft movie should, it was shot in Spain, obviously for financial reasons. But guess what, the movie sure looks good and they were not cheap on the special effect make-up and CGI. Also, Stuart Gordon is a pro who knows what he’s doing. The whole movie is an exciting roller-coaster ride and I don’t think that the Lovecraft fan boys have a reason to be upset.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Monsturd (2003)

Inane comedy with an ass full of poopoojokes. 81min.

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Review:

So there is this serial killer on the run. The cops hunt him down in the sewers and shoot him. But while he is dying he is bitten by a radioactive piece of shit, which turns him into a Monsturd.

For reasons unknown to man, this movie is full of poop jokes. Maybe it is because this movie is basically about a little girl telling her dad a goodnight story, which is a smart move in my eyes because it explains and justifies just how immature the whole thing is. Also there are at least two totally hilarious scenes which are about dumb cops instead about poop.

So all in all I must say that this an extremely decent 3* movie. If you are too mature to stand a few poop jokes, then skip it. If not, then don’t.

⭐⭐⭐

Bite Me! (2004)

82min

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Nice little trash movie with Erin Brown (Misty Mundae)

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Review:

The Go-Go-Saurus is a bar with exotic dancers, and it’s quite broke. A drug deal might save the place, but with the weed there come huge spiders that suck blood just like ticks. Getting rid of them turns out to be not easy, especially since everybody, the manager, the girls and even the exterminator, are quite inapt.

Fun little trash movie with Erin Brown (Misty Mundae). What more can I say? It’s not Citizen Kane, it’s entertaining. Very entertaining.

⭐⭐⭐⭐