Tag Archives: 1990s

Tenacious D (1997)

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 70min Classic rock comedy by Kyle Gass and Jack Black. Guest starring John C. Reilly

Recap

***SPOILER WARNING! In this recap I spoil the full content of the first episode ***

KG and JB (played by Kyle Gass and Jack Black) are two chubby rock star wannabes. Every week they take their acoustic guitars to the open mic night and sing a hymn to their delusions. One day though the open mic host has had enough of them and confronts them with an ultimatum: they will not be tolerated on stage again until they finally come up with a new song. JB instantly embarks on the search for Inspirado, and because he is JB, he becomes more and more unbearable the longer he fruitlessly tries. Eventually KG has enough and quits the band. This traumatic experience of separation serves as the inspiration needed for their second song, a band reunion and a return to the open mic night.

Tenacious D was a comedy rock act that honed their skills on the stages of Los Angeles for several years before they got the chance to record three episodes with two stories each for HBO. This show has a rather classical approach to comedy, about losers who keep on both trying and failing. I also observed that these deluded losers may actually like what they see in the mirror, which is so much more than you can say about more grounded people who believe in everyday lies like the duty to self optimize and whatnot.

Tenacious D became an actual band complete with albums and concerts, and they also made a feature film which I like even better than the TV show. They even had Dio in the movie and guest starred in a Dio music video. Also this series opened doors at least for Jack Black who made School Of Rock and Nacho Libre (and Kyle Gass at least doesn’t look like he’s starving right now).

The TV show features John C. Reilly in the Sasquatch episode, and the other videos in the playlist feature Meat Loaf as JB’s father, Troy Gentile as young JB and Dio as himself and as a Dio poster. The Wonderboy video by the way was directed by Spike Jonze, and a lot of the drums were played by Dave Grohl.

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Power Pack (1991)

⭐⭐ 26min Pilot for Marvel’s Power Pack show that never materialized.

Recap

The Power family comes to town. Unlike in the comic book, the parents are aware of their kids’ superpowers, so the father reminds the kids to keep their powers a secret. So Jack is really cautious when he helps his new friends to sneak into a dead magician’s house. However, he brings from this trip a magical amulet that the wizard wants back.


Well, I guess that this is good enough for children: there are four kids with superpowers and nice parents, there is a spooky abandoned house, there is a bit of haunted house horror, but not too much, and after 26min everything is alright again. For grown people however there is just not much there. It is no surprise that this pilot never lead into an actual series, and it’s not a pity, either. So here is your chance to watch a complete Marvel franchise in its entirety in only 26min.

Power Pack was created by Louise Simonson, premiered in 1984 and lasted for 62 issues, which makes it one of Marvel’s not so successful titles. Of course you cannot force comic nerds to like a series about brats, but I guess that Marvel would have liked to. The customers sure can never be too young to brand their brains with your products, just like Lego has Duplo or Camel has Camel Joe. Anyway, Power Pack occasionally came back with guest appearances and several miniseries. And only today I read that in 2017 Mickey Mouse has had plans to make Power Pack part of the MCU. I have no idea whether these plans are still an item, but I know that if Mickey can make a buck with them, then he will.

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Jack Frost (1997)

5/10 89min Christmas comedy about a killer snowman.

Recap

So there is Jack Frost, a convicted serial killer on the way to his execution. He escapes but is sprayed with a genetic liquid that turns him into a snowman. Now he is after the cop who arrested him and his family. An FBI agent comes to town and with him a scientist who tries to retrieve the genetic snowman for his employers.


So they made a holiday movie without James Stewart or Tim Allen. What a splendid idea. Joe Dante is a true mastermind who in 1984 gave us Gremlins, the movie that is for Christmas what Halloween and Friday The 13th are for Halloween and friday the 13th. However, some people tried this again in 1997, but without a budget or inspiration. There is no horror and no special effects in this one, and only part of the comedy actually works. So, yes, this movie is better than Jack Frost (1998), but I don’t recommend it unless you have christmas time to kill.

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Rubber’s Lover (1996)

In this japanese cyberpunk, two “scientists” use drugs and torture for “scientific” reasons. 91min imdb

Recap:

So there are two scientists (one mad, one evil) and a depraved nurse who use a mix of drugs and torture to either give their victims psychic powers or kill them. Because of their incompetence their funder sends his assistant to tell them that they’re fired. So the scientists go all in and drug and torture both their last surviving human guinea pig and the assistant. Trouble is that they now succeed and can not stand up to the powers that they unleashed.

Well, since japanese cyberpunk seems to be mostly about body horror and fear of technology, shot in b&w and with an artsy attitude, I shall say that this movie is pretty well done. It is very impressive and a morbid fun to watch. Much unlike the first two movies of this kind that I watched, this time I was quite able to follow the plot. I don’t know if others will say that this means that the movie is not artsy enough, but speaking strictly for me, I very much like to understand the story. However this movie does not have theoverwhelming look that Tetsuo has, so I guess I recommend to watch this one first for the story and then Tetsuo for the visuals.

Movie 90min subtitled

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Nick Fury:Agent Of SHIELD (1998)

The Organization With A Cool Acronym reactivates agent David Hasselhoff because they need his cool oneliners in their fight against HYDRA. 120min(?) imdb

Recap:

Andrea “Viper” von Strucker steals the shock frosted body of her father Wolfgang and recreates the Totenkopf or Death Head Virus to blackmail the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate (since 1991,formerly known as Strategic Headquarters, International Espionage and Law-enforcement Division, currently known as Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division). Also she gives Nicholas Fury the kiss of death using a frogtoxine which is a quite supervillainous thing to do, because not only does Fury not actually die for 48 hours, but since the froxine obviously was genetically altered with her DNA to make her immune, he now is also quite motivated to take a sample of her blood.

HYDRA is not only one of the few terrorist organizations that call themselves “terrorist”, it is also very dangerous because for each head that you cut off, it grows a new buttock. So to fight it you need an extremely tough, old fashioned agent, one who solves technical difficulties by shooting a round into the control panels. Have you seen what it looks like when Mickey Mouse is trying to make a superhero movie? I guess that some of his movies are quite decent, but looking at Black Panther or Fantastic Four #3 (2015) I’d say that Mickey should leave his paws off Marvel and stick to my childhood hero Phantomias (aka Paperinik, created 1969 in Italy as a Disney original). This movie is fun. Yes, it’s cheap and it’s cheesy, but I’m cool with that because I just love superheroes. They are just like pizza: they come in all styles and sizes and i never want them without extra cheese.

Interesting is the choice of actor for this one: if you are used to Samuel L. Jackson playing the role you will hardly recognize Fury in this one: much like in the comic book and much unlike Jackson, this one smokes! Cigars! In the elevator of the Helicarrier! And much unlike Jackson this one can be replaced with a LMD or Life Model Decoy. So when they had to hire an actor that could be replaced with a robot with a rubber mask, they chose David Hasselhoff. You may not have heard of him, but in the 80s and early 90s of the last century he was well known as a swimsuit model who was dumber than his car. Does it work? Well, what do I know! Nick Fury has never been my favorite comic book hero, and except for him and Wolfgang von Strucker I recognized none of the characters in this movie. But I can very well imagine that dyed in the wool fans were upset by this corny, exaggerated Fury spitting the oneliners. In my opinion however Hasselhoff nails the trope of the hard-boiled spy BECAUSE he delivers such an over the top parody. So while I never was a fan of Baywatch or Knight Rider, the Hoff has earned my sympathy with this one, and I shall never hassle him again.

(By the way, most sources including imdb say this is 120min long. However, one source says 90min, and the 90min version I watched did not look like a butchered version at all. What would they edit out anyway? This being a TV movie, there never was any sex or violence that they could censor.)

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Since I mentioned Paperinik:

Freaked (1993)

Over the top comedy co-directed by Alex Winter. With Alex Winter, Brooke Shields, Mr. T and (uncredited) Keanu Reeves 86min imdb

Recap:

So there is this aging child actor (played by aging child actor Alex “Bill” Winter) who wants some money and agrees to shill a toxic chemical. Together with his one man entourage and a hot environmentalist he soon finds himself imprisoned in a freak show, turned into freak himself by the toxic chemical he agreed to shill.

After Bill & Ted 2 Keanu Reeves played Johnny Mnemonic, John Constantine, John Wick and John Neo, while Alex Winter started to direct TV shows, music videos and even a few movies, including Freaked, which wasn’t a hit and certainly didn’t help his career. But is it any good? Yes, it is. For example it is clearly better than Bill & Ted 1. Is it also better than Bill & Ted 2? Let me think. Bill & Ted were funny mainly because the characters were so silly and over the top, and in Freaked there a so many more characters that are silly and over the top. The whole movie is an attempt to one-up Bill & Ted, and maybe it’s not a good idea to try too hard, because you risk to lose your playfulness. Also, both Bill and Ted were the “pure fools”, dumb as dung but completely innocent at heart, while this hero starts his journey as a sellout. So while this one seems to have more of everything, I still believe that I like Bill & Ted 2 better, but that’s not final until I watch it (B&T2) again. But then, a movie can be not as good as Bill & Ted 2 and still be totally excellent. So this Freaked is very good and definitively recommended.

Movie 78min

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Killer Condom (1996)

They wait until you wear them, and then they BITE! By Ralf König (co-author and original graphic novel), special effects Jörg Buttgereit, creative consultant HR Giger

Movie 107min with subtitles age restricted

Trailer

Recap:

At the Hotel Quickie several men have their snorkels bitten off. When detective Luigi Mackeroni “investigates” the crime scene with the handsome rent boy Billy, the hard-boiled cop loses one hard-boiled egg to a Killer Condom. Of course, nobody believes him, until he and his stalker Bob or Babette manage to inflate and burst the nasty little bugger. But then it goes to show that that there is not just one Killer Condom, there are more, so many more.

Ralf König used to be one of germany’s biggest creators of comic books. Even though he and his comics were (are) gay as ten flamingos, everybody, no matter how straight we were, had to read them. After all, isn’t a comic book about gay sex not so much hotter than no comic book about sex at all? His graphic novel Der Bewegte Mann even became a smash hit in german movie theaters (international title Maybe… Maybe Not), starring some of germany’s best and/or most popular actors. Of course, Der Bewegte Mann had a woman and a straight man it, it was an extremely conventional romcom with a whole lot of gay comic relief going on in the background, so it was just right for an extremely conventional audience. But with Ralf König now officially being a cash cow, the time was right to bring König’s opus magnum to the big screen: Das Kondom Des Grauens. The cast consists of solid TV actors and TV comedians, for the special effects they got Jörg Buttgereit, notorious creator of independent movies, and they even hired HR Giger, whose work did a whole lot for Alien and Species, but of course not for this one. I guess they never really had the budget and just wanted to brag with his name.

The movie was a flop, and unsurprisingly so: it is so totally not Der Bewegte Mann, it is all gay, tasteless, trashy, grim and maybe even a little gross. It is a trash movie. How many trash movies have ever been hits at the box office? This one is made for people who kindly ignore the shortcomings of a movie if only we get to see something that’s really good and funny.

By the way: before rewatching this on YouTube I read a review that compared Mackeroni to Phil Collins. Of course I cannot unsee that, and I think it adds an extra dose of fun to the movie.

Lethal Nightmare (1991)

No budget Super8 movie by the Polonia Brothers about three young men and their hallucinations. 63min imdb

Movie ca 63min

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Recap:

So there are three young adults home alone, and they start having nightmares and hallucinations, and right at the beginning the cat goes missing,so these nightmares in a way may well be real.

Yeah, and that’s about all, storywise. The acting is terrible. The sound is, well, it’s a good thing that they re-recorded the sound, but still the no-talent voice acting adds to the no-talent acting. Speaking strictly for me: occasionally the movie becomes a bit eerie because I just cannot predict where the nightmares are heading, and in these precious and rare moments the filming on Super8 actually contributes a bit of surrealism. But all in all it’s an ultra cheap and ungifted amaturd. It must have been so much fun to make it, and it was neither the first nor the last release of the Polonia Brothers (who make the Shaw Brothers look like the Warner Brothers). However, people who actually pay for this will most certainly want their money back… unless of course they are raiders of hidden or lost treasures. For me it is okay to watch this kind of stuff, off the mainstream, made for fun and not for money, but to be honest: this is not a good movie, really not. If you don’t feel some love for nerdy outsider stuff you are just going to hate it.

The Fantastic Four (1994)

First movie of the F4, done in a rush and without a budget, never released, long lost. 90min imdb

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Recap:


The movie starts with Reed and Victor trying to capture the energy of the Colossus comet. Though Ben tries to save him, Victor dies in an accident. Only that he doesn’t die but is saved by his latverian henchmen. Ten years later Reed wants to use a giant diamond to repeat the experiment, but the diamond is replaced by the Jeweler (who resembles the Mole Man a little) with a replica to impress Alicia, so it all goes awry again.

This movie was done on an abysmal budget and never released. The official explanation is that Bernd Eichinger had to shoot it to keep a hold on the movie rights and never planned to show it in the first place. In the documentary linked below we learn about two alternative stories: maybe Fox bought the Fantastic Four as a toy for their new Wunderkind Chris Columbus, or maybe Avi Arrad is the megalomanic supervillain who made this movie vanish to make room for his own big movie plans.

Who knows? Who cares? The second movie and first reboot is clearly my favorite because it has what a superhero movie needs: action, comedy, romance, drama, a budget and special effects. But everybody knows what happened then. The third movie was so incredibly bad that the fourth one had to be the the second reboot, carefully throwing every story element in the trash can except for the characters names and superpowers, which of course didn’t work so that the fifth movie will be the third reboot. And seeing how incompently Micky Mouse treats his purchases, I have very little hope for the future of the F4.

So I’ll say that this #1 is much better than #3 and #4. It’s also better than, say, Daredevil or Elektra or Spiderman 5 (Rise Of Electro). What it’s not: it’s not the magic supermovie that many nostalgics claim it to be. It’s nice, it’s entertaining, and it’s charming because this lowbudget underdog is better than so many blockbuster wannabes. Oh, and since it’s no longer a lost medium it has its fanbase simply because we are suckers for lost treasures.

Related movie:

Zombie 90: Extreme Pestilence (1991)

Classic gore movie by Andreas Schnaas. 75min imdb

(VPN:D)

Recap:

So there is this new disease that turns the dead into flesh eating zombies, and a scientist proves scientifically thar even removing the heart doesn’t help, you just destroy the brain.

So much for the plot. The rest of a movie is a nonstop gore fest with people who get butchered in the very scene in which they are are introduced. No, wait, there is indeed a story arc with two dudes who are investigating the situation, but it leads nowhere.

Andreas Schnaas is not a filmmaker like Ed Wood who wanted to be a real professional, looking for investors and hiring celebs. He is more like Ray Dennis Stecker who just grabbed a camera and started filming. There is nothing that remotely resembles a plot, or acting, just a bunch of kids enjoying themselves, playpretending and imitating the trash they had seen on VHS, mostly Italian zombi/cannibal flicks, I assume. What the kid’s love best is grossing people out. There is more fake blood and more gore (including what looks like real intestines, which makes sense because professional movie props are expensive) than you see in professional movies. Wait, in a way this is a professional movie. Schnaas’ first movie was distributed internationally, and for this, his second, they even created an English dub. I read that it was meant to be a joke in the first place, but Schnaas declared it the official dub, and it’s easy to see why: it’s hilarious. A few minutes into the movie I thought “great, a comedy”, a few minutes later I thought “nah, it’s too gory to be filed as comedy”. But to be honest it’s really to silly to be a real horror movie.

This is not an actual movie-as-we-know-it. It’s crap and you cannot say anything good about it. But I’ll do it anyway. It’s far from being the worst movie ever. Some people claim that Plan 9 From Outer Space is the worst movie ever, because it won the Golden Turkey award. But that was awarded many years before Uwe Boll made the German Fried Movie, which is the worst movie that I have seen by now, and Zombie 90 really is so much better than these two movies.

Cannibal! The Musical (1993)

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Directed by Trey Park, co-written by Matt Stone: the biopic about Alferd Packer , one of America’s most famous cannibals.

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Alferd Packer, despite his incompetence, works as a guide for a group of gold digger wannabes on their way to Colorado. The winter is cold, and the only member of the trek that reaches Gunnison alive, not half as starved as one might expect and also quite wealthy, is Pecker. Soon he is accused of murder and cannibalism.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are known and loved for their work on the South Park show, but already in 1993 they created together what turned out to be one of the best college movies ever, with astonishing production values including songs and a horse.

If you only watch one cannibalist biopic musical this year, watch this one.

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