marvel – Arkham TV

Power Pack (1991)

⭐⭐ 26min Pilot for Marvel’s Power Pack show that never materialized.

Recap

The Power family comes to town. Unlike in the comic book, the parents are aware of their kids’ superpowers, so the father reminds the kids to keep their powers a secret. So Jack is really cautious when he helps his new friends to sneak into a dead magician’s house. However, he brings from this trip a magical amulet that the wizard wants back.

Well, I guess that this is good enough for children: there are four kids with superpowers and nice parents, there is a spooky abandoned house, there is a bit of haunted house horror, but not too much, and after 26min everything is alright again. For grown people however there is just not much there. It is no surprise that this pilot never lead into an actual series, and it’s not a pity, either. So here is your chance to watch a complete Marvel franchise in its entirety in only 26min.

Power Pack was created by Louise Simonson, premiered in 1984 and lasted for 62 issues, which makes it one of Marvel’s not so successful titles. Of course you cannot force comic nerds to like a series about brats, but I guess that Marvel would have liked to. The customers sure can never be too young to brand their brains with your products, just like Lego has Duplo or Camel has Camel Joe. Anyway, Power Pack occasionally came back with guest appearances and several miniseries. And only today I read that in 2017 Mickey Mouse has had plans to make Power Pack part of the MCU. I have no idea whether these plans are still an item, but I know that if Mickey can make a buck with them, then he will.

Movie

Info

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imdb

Nick Fury:Agent Of SHIELD (1998)

The Organization With A Cool Acronym reactivates agent David Hasselhoff because they need his cool oneliners in their fight against HYDRA. 120min(?) imdb

Recap:

Andrea “Viper” von Strucker steals the shock frosted body of her father Wolfgang and recreates the Totenkopf or Death Head Virus to blackmail the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate (since 1991,formerly known as Strategic Headquarters, International Espionage and Law-enforcement Division, currently known as Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division). Also she gives Nicholas Fury the kiss of death using a frogtoxine which is a quite supervillainous thing to do, because not only does Fury not actually die for 48 hours, but since the froxine obviously was genetically altered with her DNA to make her immune, he now is also quite motivated to take a sample of her blood.

HYDRA is not only one of the few terrorist organizations that call themselves “terrorist”, it is also very dangerous because for each head that you cut off, it grows a new buttock. So to fight it you need an extremely tough, old fashioned agent, one who solves technical difficulties by shooting a round into the control panels. Have you seen what it looks like when Mickey Mouse is trying to make a superhero movie? I guess that some of his movies are quite decent, but looking at Black Panther or Fantastic Four #3 (2015) I’d say that Mickey should leave his paws off Marvel and stick to my childhood hero Phantomias (aka Paperinik, created 1969 in Italy as a Disney original). This movie is fun. Yes, it’s cheap and it’s cheesy, but I’m cool with that because I just love superheroes. They are just like pizza: they come in all styles and sizes and i never want them without extra cheese.

Interesting is the choice of actor for this one: if you are used to Samuel L. Jackson playing the role you will hardly recognize Fury in this one: much like in the comic book and much unlike Jackson, this one smokes! Cigars! In the elevator of the Helicarrier! And much unlike Jackson this one can be replaced with a LMD or Life Model Decoy. So when they had to hire an actor that could be replaced with a robot with a rubber mask, they chose David Hasselhoff. You may not have heard of him, but in the 80s and early 90s of the last century he was well known as a swimsuit model who was dumber than his car. Does it work? Well, what do I know! Nick Fury has never been my favorite comic book hero, and except for him and Wolfgang von Strucker I recognized none of the characters in this movie. But I can very well imagine that dyed in the wool fans were upset by this corny, exaggerated Fury spitting the oneliners. In my opinion however Hasselhoff nails the trope of the hard-boiled spy BECAUSE he delivers such an over the top parody. So while I never was a fan of Baywatch or Knight Rider, the Hoff has earned my sympathy with this one, and I shall never hassle him again.

(By the way, most sources including imdb say this is 120min long. However, one source says 90min, and the 90min version I watched did not look like a butchered version at all. What would they edit out anyway? This being a TV movie, there never was any sex or violence that they could censor.)

Movie 90min

Trailer

Since I mentioned Paperinik:

Doomed (2015)

Doomed: The Untold Story of Roger Corman’s the Fantastic Four (2015)

A documentary that tells the history of The Fantastic Four (1994), which was executive produced by Roger Corman.

Contains footage of Roger Corman, Lloyd Kaufman an Stan Lee as themselves. 85min imdb

Documentary 85min

Trailer

Recap:

In 1994 they finished the movie of the Fantastic Four, and while the cast and crew tried their best concerning promo and stuff, the producers Roger Corman and Bernd Eichinger made no move to release it. In fact, the release eventually was canceled. But why? The official story says that Bernd Eichinger made this movie only because his contract on the F4 movie rights was running out and he had to do something for ha renewal of this contract. This docu suggests that maybe the Fox intervened because they wanted the F4 as a toy for their new Wunderkind Chris. Columbus, and then there is Avi Arrad who claimed that he bought the movie to get it out of the way to make room for his own, bigger Marvel projects.

This documentary does ask some interesting questions, but it answers not too many. Still, it’s quite interesting to watch.

Related movie:

The Fantastic Four (1994)

First movie of the F4, done in a rush and without a budget, never released, long lost. 90min imdb

Movie 90min

Trailer

Recap:

The movie starts with Reed and Victor trying to capture the energy of the Colossus comet. Though Ben tries to save him, Victor dies in an accident. Only that he doesn’t die but is saved by his latverian henchmen. Ten years later Reed wants to use a giant diamond to repeat the experiment, but the diamond is replaced by the Jeweler (who resembles the Mole Man a little) with a replica to impress Alicia, so it all goes awry again.

This movie was done on an abysmal budget and never released. The official explanation is that Bernd Eichinger had to shoot it to keep a hold on the movie rights and never planned to show it in the first place. In the documentary linked below we learn about two alternative stories: maybe Fox bought the Fantastic Four as a toy for their new Wunderkind Chris Columbus, or maybe Avi Arrad is the megalomanic supervillain who made this movie vanish to make room for his own big movie plans.

Who knows? Who cares? The second movie and first reboot is clearly my favorite because it has what a superhero movie needs: action, comedy, romance, drama, a budget and special effects. But everybody knows what happened then. The third movie was so incredibly bad that the fourth one had to be the the second reboot, carefully throwing every story element in the trash can except for the characters names and superpowers, which of course didn’t work so that the fifth movie will be the third reboot. And seeing how incompently Micky Mouse treats his purchases, I have very little hope for the future of the F4.

So I’ll say that this #1 is much better than #3 and #4. It’s also better than, say, Daredevil or Elektra or Spiderman 5 (Rise Of Electro). What it’s not: it’s not the magic supermovie that many nostalgics claim it to be. It’s nice, it’s entertaining, and it’s charming because this lowbudget underdog is better than so many blockbuster wannabes. Oh, and since it’s no longer a lost medium it has its fanbase simply because we are suckers for lost treasures.