Tag Archives: werewolf

Iron Wolf (2013)

The entourage of a has-been punk rocker pees on a swastika and burns a barrel of nazi stuff. But in a horror movie, no good deed goes unpunished. 93min imdb

Recap:

So there is this nazi research facility that since the end of world war 2 has only been entered by one single bum who seems to think that the eerie noises behind the metal door are not worse than anything else that germany has to offer. But then one day this has-been punk rocker arrives with his entourage because punk. Postmodern irony says that a former nazi research facility is just the right place for a reunion concert. Trouble is that in a horror movie no good deed goes unpunished. In Friday, The 13th the slashees are punished for smoking weed and playing strip monopoly, and in Iron Wolf they pee on a swastika and burn a barrel of nazi stuff. So there is this result of genesplicing that you maybe can call a weresheperddog (half werewolf, half german shepherd) and that does what wereshepherddogs do. In the end there is a cliffhanger for a sequel, and it seems that the filmmakers have watched too many Marvel movies, because there are 12 (TWELVE!) minutes of end credits with mid credit scenes with a cliffhanger for a sequel (don’t tell me. I know that this is a total of two cliffhangers, it’s just that the filmmakers didn’t seem to care).

This is an independent movie, which means that it looks dreadfully cheap (I was astonished to see that the production values include nazi flags, a military-looking vehicle and some sort of a cannon). It also means that there are no actual actors in it, and it doesn’t help either that their lines were in english. The violence is reduced to a bare minimum. I’ve seen indie “slashers” with even less blood, but still I say that you shouldn’t be cheap on the violence especially when your film has nothing else to offer. Interesting characters? Suspense? New ideas? Nil return! Oh and in the end they actually show the Iron Wolf which is not a smart move because he is something between furry, cosplay and Halloween fancy dress.

I guess that they thought that it was enough to have nazis in it. There are so many movies with nazi zombies in them, there was Yoga Hosers with nazi wieners, there was Iron Sky with nazi men on the moon… Nazis are definitely the trope of choice for lazy filmmakers who want to attract an audience without putting too much effort into their movies. However this movie just doesn’t deliver, and also I dislike how the exnazi is the smartest and the most sympathetic of the slashees while the bigmouthest (does this word even exist? Now it does) of the antifascists is the dumbest douchebag.

Why do only the dumbest and trashiest of these movies get made? Germany’s currently greatest novelist and cartoonist Walter Moers once tried to raise funds for a movie about his Adof Die Nazi-Sau (Adolf The Nazi Swine), but as far as I know nothing ever came of it.

Movie 95min

Trailer

And this is how a nazi movie should look like in my opinion:

Werewolves On Wheels (1971)

74min

(VPN:D)

Sound

English

Captions

None

70s exploitation of Easy Rider with a horror twist.

watch now

Trailer

imdb

Rotten Tomatoes

Review:

Does it count as a spoiler when I tell you what’s no happening in this movie?Well you’re NOT going to see a pack of Werewolves riding their bikes.

Instead there is this gang of bikers, little league, small time crooks, but they call themselves The Devil’s Advocates, so they don’t hesitate to drink the wine some Satanists offer them. By night, when everybody is drugged, the Satanists have a satanic picnic with one of the gang members, and from that moment on things go downhill for the bikers. Gang members are murdered every night until the gang gets lost in a sand storm and things get a little trippy.

Most of the movie, we see bikers biking or stopping at a gas station or resting in the desert. They also added a bit of horror to it, but not enough to tickle my fancy. There are reviews that tell you how fun and free the shooting must have been, and that may very well be true. And yet: I really wanted to like this little trash movie, and I still wanted to like it after I realized that it was not really about werewolves on wheels. I wanted to write just how refreshing it is to watch this amateur movie that just doesn’t care about the laws of filmmaking. But the best thing about this is that I now can claim that I have seen a movie called Werewolves On Wheels. And? How was it? Well, quite disappointing.

⭐⭐