Mars Men (1976)

Recap:

So there are these Martians who need a magic stone to conquer the universe. For a few minutes we see Martian Queen and Martian King wreck a city in Thailand searching for the stone, but most of the first half is just exposition and yadda yadda. In the second half, however, we have Jumborg Ace, who is a Cessna that transforms into a Japanese superhero and Hanumanji who is basically a Thai terracotta superhero. Of course, when superheroes meet, the international code of conduct requires that they battle each other first, but eventually they team up against the Martians.

Now this is what I call a superhero movie! I think that many people who make superhero movies should watch this, especially Micky Mouse who recently purchased Marvel and now has no idea what to do with it. The Japanese always were aware that superheroes primarily are for children (and, of course, secondarily for nerds) and this movie proves that the Thai know it too.

What bothers me, though: what became of the humans that were abducted to be ritually crucified? Do you remember when the Green Lanterns built a yellow lantern, because, well, Hal Jordan didn’t need a yellow lantern to kick this supervillain into the sun, but they left it in anyway because it looked cool. Same here: the crucified people looked quite swell in front of the fiery background, but nobody ever cared to save them. At least not in the version that I watched. But I’m not complaining. I take what I can get, and this version even is dubbed… sort of. I hope that this is an inofficial fan dub because a professional dub just shouldn’t sound like this. One of the children at the beginning of the movie sounds a lot like Cartman. And the translator obviously was under the influence at least part of the time. “Mine is longer than yours” is my personal highlight of the movie, but it’s just one of many.

All in all this is not the best superhero movie ever, but it is very, very good.